it turns out i can't be trusted to update this blog regularly, as expected. here's a top ten of things i've learned, although, it's really only in the order of what i think up first as i don't believe in hierarchy. onward-
10. all cacti have spikes. all of them: even if they look smooth and fun to touch. they aren't, and most likely they'll cover your fingers with thousands of painful microscopic needles that are virtually impossible to remove
9. no rain equals disgustingly dirty streets and the bottoms of your feet get BLACK even when you're not wearing flip-flops. it's a mystery. the solution is to either wash your feet obsessively or just stop caring. i opt for the latter.
8. conversely, when it DOES rain, it rains enough to a) prevent safe travel in a car b) cause the roads to be cracked and destroyed making it c) easier for your skinny bike tires to get caught in cracks in the road and thus propel you off of your bike multiple times. even though there are essentially no hills here, a mountain bike is ideal if not for anything but preventing the awkward interaction of the oh-my-gosh-are-you-ok?'s of strangers.
7. one shot in tucson is equal to 3 shots in maryland. i don't get it, but i'm not complaining.
6. similarly, there's also a strange phenomena associated with drinking beer in the desert. tucson is infamous for its crazy alcoholic townies, and part of this, i think, has to do with the fact that when drinking beer in the heat a) the beer gets warm REALLY fast i.e. you have to drink faster and b) once you've chugged said beer in 2-3 minutes to prevent it from getting warm and gross, you realize, wow, it's really hot, and ANOTHER nice cold beer would be perfect for battling the 90 degree heat
5. don't go to the circle k on speedway and park alone unless you want to either be harassed by the weirdos that work behind the counter there or harassed by the weirdos that congregate in the parking lot OR the weirdos that shop there
4. first floor really means second floor. i don't understand it either.
3. tucson for some reason attracts numerous amounts of homeless people that like to talk to themselves, or yell to themselves, at you. these homeless crazies not only can be found at the likely locations (bus shelters, downtown, near dumpsters, etc.) but, even better, on campus or on university ave. on a sunday. at 11am.
2. undergrad girls here are from an entirely different planet where everyone has fake tans (in the desert, wtf?) bleached hair, is absolutely gorgeous, and wears pretty much next to nothing. there's also an "arizona douchebag" look for guys identified by some random stupid skate/surf/bmx/whatever t shirt/apparel, spiky hair, and some sort of pseudo-alternative element of facial piercings or skate shoes. do not be fooled.
1. AC is still on and still required in december despite the lies locals tell about the heat "breaking" in september. again, do not be fooled.
